ITS MY LIFE!! REALLY?

"This is my life, Its upto me to decide what's good or bad for me. You mind your own business!"

Perplexed? Wondering, why I chose to begin this piece with such a line? Simple, the emotions in the line above are something that are a part of each one of us. We all want to live our lives the way we want to, without bonding, without being responsible to anyone, without being accountable and with freedom.

Very often we hear the following argument- "It is upto me how I lead my life, whether I become a millionaire or a pauper, whether I spend my time buried in books or lost in dope or whether I put my gifts to use or let them whittle away, it is my choice! No one has the right to decide what I should do. No one!" - and surrender to it because we find it natural, irrefutiable, infact we accept as if it were pearls of wisdom bestowed on us. Afterall, it is true that our life belongs to us, we are responsible for our decisions as well as their consequences. Right? Wrong.

Why? Because we live in a society, not in solitude, because the actions of an individual have the power to affect the lives of several and because every action has an equal and opposite reaction, that's why. Don't believe me? You will, just read on.

To prove my point, let me narrate an incident from a book by management Guru and motivator, Shiv Khera. Mr. Khera was on an assignment in an American prison to motivate prisoners towards a better way of life. During his interaction, a prisoner who was nearing release, walked up to him and said " Hey, Shiv, why the hell do you always keep preaching, don't do this, don't do that, this is right, that is wrong? Damn it! its my life! Why the hell are you concerned whether I drink, smoke, steal, kill, it's none of your business!" To this retort Mr. Khera replied-" Yes, you are right my friend, it is none of my concern whether you drink, kill, do whatever, but, first make me a simple promise?" The prisoner asked-" What promise?" He replied "Promise me that the child you run over the next time you drink and drive will not be mine or somebody else's. Can you do that? If you can, you have every right to do as you wish." The prisoner was dumbstruck, but he had got his answer.

The fact of the matter is - all of us must be sensitive and responsible to those around us, to those we share this world with, because what we do impacts them in some way or the other. Sometimes, a foolish mistake can destroy lives, a wrong step can cause tragedy, and a move made in selfishness could result in serious ramifications.

Look around, and you will see a family on the brink because one man couldn't control his temper, you will see several destroyed because one spoilt brat didn't know that drinking and driving do not go well together, you will see thousands suffering the aftermath of a tragedy 60 years old, just because a ruler wanted to prove his point. These are only a few examples of the influence that actions of an individual can have on others, but enough to justify the gravity of the situation.

Unfortunately, in our personal pursuits we forget that we are not alone, that they are people who depend on us, whose fate swings with ours, our parents, our families, friends and even those who have never known us. So, let us be responsible, let us measure our actions and make sure that we don't become the cause of suffering and pain for innocents. We share the world with others, let us also share their concerns. Let us live our lives as we wish, making our decisions, but let us also ensure that our freedom is not somebody else's curse, because as George Daniel said-

O Freedom, what liberties are taken in thy name!

Society is indeed a contract....it becomes a partnership not only between those who are living, but between those who are living, those who are dead, and those who are to be born.
- Burke, Edmund

THE MYSTERY ILLNESS!!

A lot of my friends think of me as studious, intelligent, and academically oriented, they also think of me as boring but we shall leave that for later (of course for obvious reasons!) and concentrate on the intellectual part. Honestly, my opinion on the intellectual bit is that it is a misconception. And, while I love this misconception it is also baffling, because, if one judges intelligence and intellect as they generally are - based on examination results- then, even the best of my friends is unlikely to think of me as intelligent, yet, despite several indifferent examination showings, the misconception has survived.

This fascinating anomaly- studious yet week in studies, academic yet average student, intelligent yet short of marks/grades- has forced me to ponder long and hard over the reason for such a situation. I think I finally have the answer.

Actually, the reason for the anomaly is an illness, a mystery illness if you prefer, (atleast that sounds more dramatic and ahem.., mysterious?) which appears as soon as the examinations and stays just as long, then, as if by magic, disappears only to reappear at the precise time again. I wonder if anyone has been diagnosed with this before and really have no idea what it is called but I have got atleast the name part sorted out. Forgive the crudeness, but, since we are in the season of wardrobe malfunctions, I have named it 'Creative Urge Malfunction'. Sounds Good? No?Excellent? Oh, did you say Brilliant? Ok. Ok. Enough. I am flattered. Move on!

I tried looking for the definition of Creative Urge Malfunction(CUM, in short) on the internet but when even the ever loyal Google failed to find a match I decided to do the formalities myself. Well, I define CUM as a situation where the creative urges of an individual ( urge to experiment, explore, innovate, try, learn and imagine) begin to ensue at an undesirable and critical time, which is usually not meant to entertain those urges. The malfunctioning part can be attributed to the fact that these creative urges remain almost dormant when they ought to be dominant and vice versa. Elementary, My Dear Watson!

Now, you may ask- How do you catch this bug, what are its symptoms, why does it happen only during the exams, why this, why that, why not, why yes..... Hold it. Patience. Patience my dear. It's a virtue. Haven't you heard?

Well, honestly, I have no answer to how one catches this bug. I guess it just happens. Like love? Maybe. I really can't be sure. But, as I mentioned, this, is no ordinary disease, it's a mystery disease and as you can see, not without a reason. So,make a guess! yours as good as mine.

Now,to the symptoms. This is the easy part. Well, if during examinations you find yourself taking more interest than usual in things you had not even noticed earlier then it is fairly certain that you have got the CUM bug. Actually, that's what happened to me, during one of those school terms, I got the shock of my life as I found myself buried in a novel the day before my maths exam, shocking because all these days it was lying next to my bed and I had not so much as bothered to flip through the pages. But, here I was, completely immersed in the story. What a time for curiosity to surge through. Amazing! Similarly, if you find yourself engrossed in a movie you had only recently termed boring, it's time to say your prayers.

Another symptom is the surfacing of hidden talents- in my case it was writing and believe it or not cooking (yes, I cooked my first omelet during one of those fits of CUM) and before I forget, I also found out that I had quite a knack for playing computer games. So, if you find your hidden talents plunging from the closets of your mind, then its done, you are CUM positive.

Look, the problem isn't about being creative, but the timing of it all. All the ideas, innovations arouse when the need of the hour is academics, and everything else is a distraction, a destructive one at that. What else will you call it if not Malfunctioning?

I think I have answered all your queries, of course, barring one- Why does this happen only during the examinations? The answer is an educated guess - Defense Mechanism. I won't go into details but I am sure you understand. Anyway, whatever the reason, Defense Mechanism or no Defense Mechanism, CUM or DUM( Disastrous Urge Malfunctioning), the fact is I am worried. Why? Because, its that time of the year once again. I am praying that history will not repeat itself, but, I think it already did. What say you?

BEFORE KINGDOM COME

Of all the facts of our existence, the fact that all things must come to an end, is easily the most humbling. The realization that nothing lasts forever, however precious, puts a lot of things we take for granted in perspective, even friendship.

Unfortunately, despite knowing that end is inevitable, we choose to look the other way, because the end brings with it separation, which is always painful . Yet, the day must come, the day of Kingdom Come.

The great poet Sahir Ludhiyanvi puts the phenomenon of union and separation in perspective -

Utna Hi Upkar Samajh, Koi, Jitna Saath Nibha De,
Janam Maran Ka Mel Hai Sapna, Ye Sapna Bikhra De

However, cruel as life is, it does provide the opportunity to make up for the lost time and to make the most of the time left. The same opportunity, now knocks on our doorstep, calling for redemption. The moment of truth beckons and the time to say goodbye draws closer, bringing along a flood of memories, a deluge of emotions, some expressed some hidden away under the veil of the conscious. It is now or never, so, let us shed our inhibitions, our prejudices, and drape our thoughts in words. Let us speak out.

It may seem ironical that a reluctant speaker should be preaching the windfalls of speaking out, but only the deficient can understand the pain of longing.Isn't it? Anyway, let's not confuse the issue, this isn't really about me, this is about concealed emotions that have yet to see the daylight of articulation and about words that have yet to find a voice. This is for salvation before Kingdom Come, about breaking the silence.

Honestly, I am not against silence, in fact, if anything, I'm its advocate. Silence could be Golden, even diamond, in this frantic and chaotic world, where peace and solitude seem as ubiquitous as dinosaur. It is the soil that reaps introspection, learning and even success. There's no denying, silence is deep.

Sadly, in the depths of silence grows the clamor of distrust, misunderstanding and lost opportunities. Silence unfortunately can drive people apart and create boundaries where love and intimacy might have reigned. It could be the cause of pain and suffering, of regret and compunction.

Silence alone is great; all else is feebleness... then as do I, say naught, but suffer and die

Hopefully, these words would inspire those of my ilk towards expression. However, lest they prove futile I take upon myself the responsibility of being the torchbearer. Thus, I shall speak of feelings I have conjured in my mind over the last two years, years that will always remain special for reasons told and untold.

Unfortunately despite my desire to pen all the moments, I was lucky enough to share with my friends, I simply cannot. Because, even the richest of vocabulary may prove too shallow to measure the depth of the heart and expanse of the mind, while matters like these are of the heart and the mind combined. Moreover, certain things in life are better left to imagination. Imagination after all is the supreme master of life, it can weave romance around the bland, create palaces among ruins and make inventions from the routine. Simply put, I would rather have you weaving romantic notions than know the bland truth, hence my reluctance.

But, before your mind begins to wander in the realms of romantic possibility let me make my confession. Actually, I feel privileged, no, blessed, having spend two years of my life with some of the most talented, dynamic, resolute and confident young people around.

In such company, I often felt like a dwarf among the giants, like a tiny speck amidst the stars. Yet, there were moments of bliss, when my mates made me feel like a giant myself. It is difficult to imagine, how life might have been without such special friends- The days of yore would have been less for sure, the times of separation pain no more.

The thought of separation, of leaving behind such friends is overwhelming indeed.

Finally, I will sum up by saying that I am indebted, indebted to those who made this wonderful sojourn a memoir full of cherished memories. Words cannot express my gratitude, yet, for what it is worth, I just want to say thank you, thank you my friends for this association that may last long, for remembrances that will remain strong till Kingdom Come comes along.

I'll end by quoting a couple of lines written by Thomas Moore-

Oft, in the stilly night, Ere Slumber's chain has bound me,
Fond Memory brings the light Of other days around me.

I dedicate this column to my friends at AIBS, who have been a constant source of inspiration. I would have loved to acknowledge some of the names that mean special to me, but sometimes just sometimes -
Silence is Indeed Golden..

HAIL THE VIGILANTE!

In my last column I wrote about changing the world the Superman way, i.e. the way of compassion, truth and courage. But, now I realize that in my almost blind faith in Superman I probably missed something. I missed out what some would call the Anti-Superman way. I missed a critical question- Is the way of Superman, the only possible way of changing the world or is there an alternative that contrasting as it may be is certainly an option? Yes, there is. I may hate to admit it, even less approve of it, but, I simply cannot deny it.

This alternate, contrasting and contradicting approach towards 'Changing the world' is what I would have until recently called- The Way of the Dark Knight- BATMAN, however in this post 1/20 era, I may as well call it the RDB way or the Rang De Basanti way.

You can take your pick on what you wish to call it, but that isn't the issue here, the issue here is to try and understand the circumstance that give birth to this Dark Knight/RDB way and drive people on this forbidden path of self destruction. So, let's get going, enlightenment awaits.

There are moments in our lives when we feel frustrated, disappointed and perhaps worst of all, helpless, against the system. It could be over something as trivial as shelling a few rupees extra to the Auto wallah or something as grievous as a politician compromising the nation's security to fill his own coffers ( ala RDB) . During these moments of despair and anguish, in some hidden corner of our hearts, ensues the uncontrollable urge to take the law in our hands. An urge to break the bounds of civility and bring the perpetarators to justice. Some of us supress this urge while others become VIGILANTES and it is among these men and women that the RDB way finds its origin.

VIGILANTE, for those unfamiliar with the word, is described by the Oxford English Dictionary as a person who undertakes law enforcement in his community without legal authority, typically because the legal agencies are thought to be inadequate. This description fits those delusioned young men from RDB to the proverbial T as well as the dark knight to his masked justice.

But, how enduring is this method? How effective? Is it really a pragmatic solution to our problems as these fictional characters would make us believe? Honestly, I wish I knew the answers but alas, I do not . However, the following lines may help in throwing some more light on the viability of this fashionable yet dangerous indulgance.

Vigilantes are special, they are judge, jury and executioner, all in one and on the outset there's certainly a great deal going for them. The vigilante upholds order by instilling the fear of god in his enemies and the means are usually forceful . Whether, it is the Batman using his persona to intimidate criminals or the Kamikaze youth of RDB using firepower to change the system, the objective is common- to create fear among the enemies, and the instrument is force. There's nothing wrong with that, afterall, fear and force do make a mighty combination. Together they virtually lay the foundation of civilization, the police, the armed forces are nothing but symbols of these powerful elements. In their absence anarchy rules and lawlessness thrives The following quote by Muir echoes these sentiments-

And without fear the lawless roads / Ran wrong through all the land.

But, does that mean Vigilantes are here to stay? Shall we then celebrate this phenomenon of justice through force and fear?

Maybe not so fast. Because, what is arguably the vigilante's most potent weapon, unfortunately, is also his worst nemesis- Fear. Fear can be a strong motivator but it can also drive people to the edge. It can over time turn the oppressed into opressors, the preys to predators. Like a painkiller, which stems the pain but does not cure the wound, fear deters the crime but does not vanquish the criminal. Evil would strike back the moment the grip of fear loosens and it is indeed ironical that fear itself thus becomes the harbinger of evil.

As Shakespeare puts it-

In time we hate that which we often fear

So, what is the answer then? Which is the right way? Do you have the answer or are you still looking for it?

Well, look no more, the answer is right there, within you and it isn't about right or wrong but simply about belief. The belief that good will survive in this world, that peace would reign, only the methods would differ. There will be some who will embrace evil to destroy it and there will be others who would spread the message of faith, love and compassion in pursuit of the same. Both may succeed but before you make your mind, remember the following lines-

For hate is not conquered by hate: hate is conquered by love.
This is a law eternal.

LOVE TO CHANGE THE WORLD

I was 5 when I had my first crush and if I dare say, also my last ( alright, alright I was lying, I have had a few others). It was love at first sight and it happened at school on that sultry monsoon afternoon. I had watched in daze as it moved swiftly in a streak of red and blue , no it didn't move, it flew, faster than a speeding bullet! I followed it, my heart in raptures, my pulse in fits of frenzy, and then it happened- a miracle!

The train was heading towards certain disaster, the driver had suffered a stroke and to make matters worse had pushed the accelarator with his body. A crash seemed imminent, the passengers more in desperation than hope were crying for help. And then, like a messiah, it appeared from nowhere, the same captivating figure. Dressed in red and blue, draped in a cloak, moving like a gazelle, it jumped straight into the path of the raging locomotive and with bare hands brought the several thousand screaming screeching tonnes of iron to peace. A disaster was averted, a legend was born and an innocent heart somewhere skipped a beat.

I was struck, love struck to be precise, and after my lovelorn senses recovered, it was time to find more about this enigma. Who was it? What was the name? Where had it come from? On that first meeting, the stranger had seemed out of the world, someone who had been there among the stars, as it turned out, it was true, LITERALLY!

Well, my first crush was not the beautiful girl next door or for that matter the princess from a kingdome far away but an alien who had arrived on this planet from a distant galaxy. It belonged to the planet Krypton, looked like a human but could leap tall buildings in a single bound, was faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a moving locomotive. It wore the symbol of its race on its chest, its real name was Kal-EL but in this world where it had become a symbol of truth, justice and hope, they called him- SUPERMAN.

Yes, on that fateful afternoon I fell in love with Superman, an affair that's lasted nearly two decades and is still going strong. People often question my faith in a character that is bred in fiction, that is a figment of someone's imagination, but they neither understand my faith nor the character. Sure I am intrigued, enchanted even fascinated by Superman's extraordinary abilities. I mean, he can fly, can hear a whisper on the other side of the world, can see through solid objects, he's a virtual GOD. But, my love for Superman transcends these extraordinary powers, in fact, it is based on values that are as much a part of me as they are of you and of every human being on this planet.

Superman, for all his imaginary, fictional physical prowess is much more than a brawny boy scout.He is indeed a metaphor for all the real world values and virtues that us human beings aspire for. He symbolises truth, compassion, fairness, integrity, courage, selflessness, resilience and above all respect for the human life. All of them values, much celebrated, but unfortunately missing from the society we live in today. Of course, human beings are not gods, we can never be as powerful or impregnable as the last son of krypton but if only we could inherit his values, virtues and philosophy, the world would be a peaceful, loving and just place to live . We won't need the police to protect us, criminals would not move around with impunity, the system will not become the victim of a spineless society as the Jessica Lall case manifested and perhaps most importantly innocent lives would never be sacrificed in the name of noble causes, in the name of religion, in the name of peace.

Alas, it is not to be, we have failed, the most intelligent race in the universe has failed to retain its virtues and now darkness looms and threatens its existance. But, all this could change, only, it needs will, determination and above all commitment to what is right. We all must rise above petty differences and inflated egos to assist each other in creating a world of our dreams, a world free of hatred, devoid of treachery and bereft of suffering. We all can together change the world, sure it's a long walk, but we have to start somewhere.
How about starting with - SUPERMAN?

They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be.
They only lack the light to show the way.
For this reason, above all, their capacity for good,
I have sent them you, my only son.