THE MYSTERY ILLNESS!!

A lot of my friends think of me as studious, intelligent, and academically oriented, they also think of me as boring but we shall leave that for later (of course for obvious reasons!) and concentrate on the intellectual part. Honestly, my opinion on the intellectual bit is that it is a misconception. And, while I love this misconception it is also baffling, because, if one judges intelligence and intellect as they generally are - based on examination results- then, even the best of my friends is unlikely to think of me as intelligent, yet, despite several indifferent examination showings, the misconception has survived.

This fascinating anomaly- studious yet week in studies, academic yet average student, intelligent yet short of marks/grades- has forced me to ponder long and hard over the reason for such a situation. I think I finally have the answer.

Actually, the reason for the anomaly is an illness, a mystery illness if you prefer, (atleast that sounds more dramatic and ahem.., mysterious?) which appears as soon as the examinations and stays just as long, then, as if by magic, disappears only to reappear at the precise time again. I wonder if anyone has been diagnosed with this before and really have no idea what it is called but I have got atleast the name part sorted out. Forgive the crudeness, but, since we are in the season of wardrobe malfunctions, I have named it 'Creative Urge Malfunction'. Sounds Good? No?Excellent? Oh, did you say Brilliant? Ok. Ok. Enough. I am flattered. Move on!

I tried looking for the definition of Creative Urge Malfunction(CUM, in short) on the internet but when even the ever loyal Google failed to find a match I decided to do the formalities myself. Well, I define CUM as a situation where the creative urges of an individual ( urge to experiment, explore, innovate, try, learn and imagine) begin to ensue at an undesirable and critical time, which is usually not meant to entertain those urges. The malfunctioning part can be attributed to the fact that these creative urges remain almost dormant when they ought to be dominant and vice versa. Elementary, My Dear Watson!

Now, you may ask- How do you catch this bug, what are its symptoms, why does it happen only during the exams, why this, why that, why not, why yes..... Hold it. Patience. Patience my dear. It's a virtue. Haven't you heard?

Well, honestly, I have no answer to how one catches this bug. I guess it just happens. Like love? Maybe. I really can't be sure. But, as I mentioned, this, is no ordinary disease, it's a mystery disease and as you can see, not without a reason. So,make a guess! yours as good as mine.

Now,to the symptoms. This is the easy part. Well, if during examinations you find yourself taking more interest than usual in things you had not even noticed earlier then it is fairly certain that you have got the CUM bug. Actually, that's what happened to me, during one of those school terms, I got the shock of my life as I found myself buried in a novel the day before my maths exam, shocking because all these days it was lying next to my bed and I had not so much as bothered to flip through the pages. But, here I was, completely immersed in the story. What a time for curiosity to surge through. Amazing! Similarly, if you find yourself engrossed in a movie you had only recently termed boring, it's time to say your prayers.

Another symptom is the surfacing of hidden talents- in my case it was writing and believe it or not cooking (yes, I cooked my first omelet during one of those fits of CUM) and before I forget, I also found out that I had quite a knack for playing computer games. So, if you find your hidden talents plunging from the closets of your mind, then its done, you are CUM positive.

Look, the problem isn't about being creative, but the timing of it all. All the ideas, innovations arouse when the need of the hour is academics, and everything else is a distraction, a destructive one at that. What else will you call it if not Malfunctioning?

I think I have answered all your queries, of course, barring one- Why does this happen only during the examinations? The answer is an educated guess - Defense Mechanism. I won't go into details but I am sure you understand. Anyway, whatever the reason, Defense Mechanism or no Defense Mechanism, CUM or DUM( Disastrous Urge Malfunctioning), the fact is I am worried. Why? Because, its that time of the year once again. I am praying that history will not repeat itself, but, I think it already did. What say you?