The Writer's Fear Factor

Let me begin by making a confession- I have always wanted to be a writer and that despite my aspirations and noble intent, the very thought of picking up the pen and putting words on paper  has filled me with a strange trepidation. I do not know why the thought of writing paralyses me but I have always wanted to know. I think I may have finally stumbled on something that explains the fear of writing. Actually, I found it in one of the books I recently read. But, before I go ahead, did I tell you that one of the tips you can give to a budding writer is to read as much as possible? Well...I know where's that coming from but really if reading made one a writer, I have read enough to publish a novel by now. But, sadly that's really not the case cause here I am struggling to put together a few lines on my poor, lonely, rather impoverished blog. So, do read but don't forget to write. 

Coming back to the fear of writing, the truth is that no writer escapes it. Infact, if you were to believe Ralph Keyes who has written the book 'The Courage to Write' writers are actually terrorised by the prospect of writing. Now who would have thought that! I don't know, but I can surely empathise. You see, writing is far from being a pleasant experience. a writer would do anything to procrastinate or delay the actual writing. She would spend days or months in research, wait for the right season, the perfect setting, a particular type of paper, the ideal sequence of omens and so on and so forth all just to buy some more time to fight the writing demons. 

It is actually the nature of their job. Just imagine having to speak or sing or perform in front of thousands. Now, what if that performance is recorded and shown for several days to more and more people. If it was good and likeable maybe you'll enjoy the appreciation but what if it was something controversial, something embarrassing? This my dear reader is the state of a writer. her work is not a performance that plays out for a few minutes and then ends and disappears from public memory. A book or a piece of writing stays on, it is there, a part of history, a record, a concrete entity that will be read, re-read, scrutinised, analysed, deconstructed and god knows what else by hundreds and thousands of people for years to come. So, when a writer puts her work in the public domain she is baring a part of her to the reading public. She has no idea what the readers would think of her work. Would they, the readers, figure out that the author has revealed a part of her in her writing. That her writing is a reflection of the writer's ideology, her personality, her own fears, insecurities which she has wrapped in the guise of her characters. Or if the writer's conviction is missing, would the readers see through the fake, pretentious job done by the writer.  There's only one way of knowing and that is to write and publish your work.

It is a fact that readers like those writers who write with conviction, who pour their heart in every word they write and do not hold back from expressing something merely because it is disturbing. Writers who play safe often fail to touch the chord in their readers' heart. However, this is precisely what petrifies the writer. in her pursuit of honesty, of conviction, of genuineness, the writer may reveal parts of her or her life that deserve a private sanctity. By bringing out truth the writer may end up hurting people around her, jeprodizing  relationships and alienating herself. 

The fear of public scrutiny, of revealing too much and being found out become a writer's fear factor.